Bad romance
by Scarletfire.z
Summary: Shizaya - If Saika's form of love is cutting people, then Shizuo's form of love for Izaya must be beating him up, right? Title is not inspired by Lady Gaga's song, mind you.


HELLO.

This is my first time writing a Durarara! fanfic and that means first Shizaya fanfic too! So, be nice to me :D :D

Warning: Not beta'd so, may contain grammatical errors, OOC maybe?

I DON'T OWN DRRR.

* * *

"_Izaya-kun._"

"Why, hello there." The said black-haired man shot him a wide grin, an evil-like mischievous glint sparkled in his eye and the blond-haired guy wondered why was his eye sparkling that brightly. Had he gotten glitter on his eye again after a fail attempt of Edward Cullen? "What can do for you on this beautiful fine day, _Shizu-chan_?"

Said 'Shizu-chan' felt a vein popped on his forehead. There was a huge urge to bash the flea's face right into the bricked wall, but he held it back, _for now_.

"Why, I was just wondering. Do you know what day is today?"

"My birthday?"

"No."

"_Your_ birthday? Am I supposed to get you something so I walk off in peace _and_ in one piece?"

"Hell no."

Izaya stroke his invisible goatee while thinking what should he have for lunch later. Oh and Shizu-chan's question because Shizu-chan might get mad at him if he totally ignored his question. Izaya shrugged finally after giving up(more like not bothered to think of an answer, because lunch was much more important than this crap).

"It's _Shizuo's-gonna-beat-Izaya-to-death day_." The ex-bartender said it as if it's the most obvious thing in Ikebukuro.

"I thought it was _Shizu-chan-is-happy-to-give-Izaya-a-hug day_?"

"Don't make me kick your motherfucking ass right across the Mediterranean sea, you flea."

"Silly, Shizu-chan. You couldn't kick me _that_ far. Pacific ocean maybe, but not to Europe." Izaya said in a way as though he was talking to a three-year-old kid who didn't know dullahans existed in Ikebukuro. "I knew that your brain was as big as a peanut, but I didn't know that it shrunk into the size of a protozoa!"

He bit on his cigarette, threw it on the ground and _squishing_ it with the base of his black shoes. "That's _it_." Shizuo sneered, grabbing the nearest thing to him which was an ice-cream cart. But the children shrieked and cried when their beloved cart of ice-cream was taken away from them. So, unfortunately Shizuo had to resolve to fists, but it was A-okay with him anyway. He just didn't like dirtying his hands with the flea's rotten liquid of red.

Shizuo clenched and unclenched his fists, cracking his knuckles with a crazy look in his feature. "Now, stay _still_ when I punch you in your pretty face. I promise it won't hurt that much."

"It won't?"

"Nah. I lied."

_Damn_. Izaya sighed, pulling out his blade from his coat while slowly backing away from the blond man.

"It's time to celebrate _Shizuo's-gonna-beat-Izaya-to-death day_." Shizu-chan, I mean, _Shizuo_ said in a sickeningly sweet tone, and at that moment, a thought struck Izaya's head hard like the time the ex-bartender throw a vending machine at him. Yes, that hurt a lot, fuck you very much.

"Neh, _Shizu-chan_." Izaya said, ignoring Shizuo's angry 'don't-call-me-that-you-stupid-flea' retort. "You heard of the Saika right?"

"Tch,_ yeah_. What about it?"

"If Saika's form of love is cutting people, I have a theory that the reason Shizu-chan _tries_ beating me up because," Izaya exaggerated a gasp, flinging his hands over his heart dramatically. "It's Shizu-chan's form of _love_ for me!"

"_What._" Shizuo deadpanned.

"It makes so much sense now! And have you ever heard of a chinese proverb before? Hmm, let's see." Izaya spun on his heels mirthfully, thinking for the Chinese phrase. He stopped in front of the blond man when he remembered. "Ah. _Da shi teng, ma shi ai_? It means you express your love by beating me up, or at least _try_ to. Oh my, I'm flattered,_ Shizu-chan_!"

"Are you fucking out of your mind!" Shizuo growled, grabbing Izaya by the front of his fur coat. "I fucking _hate_ you, you damn flea, that's why I fucking _hurt_ you."

"Don't be modest, Shizzy-chan." The black-haired man waved his hand in dismissal. "I know you love me, but I'm sorry to say that I can't return your love. I love humans, but you're an exception and you're not my type anyway."

"Why you-" But Shizzy-chan, _Shizuo_ was promptly cut off by a peck on his lips from _Izaya_ himself. Shizuo roughly pushed Izaya away, gawking at him like there was two of him in front of him right that moment.

"That's just a little present from me to you before I take my leave. See ya, Shizzy! I'm gonna go have lunch now!" And Izaya rushed off to the opposite direction into the sea of people.

Shizuo blinked, and he blinked again.

And again for the last time.

After Shizuo finally understood what had happened, he grounded his teeth together angrily.

"_IZAYA!_"

And off he goes chasing Izaya to celebrate _Shizuo's-gonna-beat-Izaya-to-death_ day with him.

* * *

I kind of noticed that I sometimes misspelled Shizuo as Shizaya, but I don't know why xD

And I kind of noticed that Izaya can be pretty much of a bastard in the light novels. I still can't help but to love him though XD


End file.
